Do you look in the mirror and tell yourself I’m disgusting?
Now just imagine saying that to yourself every time you looked in a mirror. How would that feel? That’s not tough love. There’s no love in that kind of talk. That’s not getting 'real' with yourself and an awful pattern worth breaking.
Do you hate yourself because you are overweight? And if you lose weight, you’ll be happier?
Actually, it’s the opposite. You may be overweight because you have a low sense of self-worth. You won’t lose the weight until you learn to love yourself just as you are right now. The reason why you may not be losing the weight is that you are fighting the wrong battle. You must win the war with self-hatred in your head or those extra pounds will never get shed. If you don't believe you deserve to feel good, why on earth would you do the hard stuff it takes to change? You won’t.
Science agrees with me on this point. Being negative makes it HARDER for you to feel motivated. Research also shows that if you focus on the good stuff about getting healthy, (how good you’ll feel, what healthy things you 'get' to eat, and why you DESERVE to be healthy), you will be able to lose weight. If you bring a negative mindset to it, (I’m disgusting, I have to starve myself, I have to deprive myself), you will feel unmotivated, have a harder time sticking to a new routine, and you will give up faster.
(Source: Mel Robbins, Motivational Speaker).